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Lost a Neighbor We learned today that our neighbors' dog Dee-Dee died last week. truth about enzyte They seem to be taking it pretty hard. Our dog Kane used to sneak over to their house when Dee-Dee was out. He'd head to the back of the yard and take a longcut path to their house. Dee-Dee would do the same. Why they just don't run straight across through the few trees between our houses I doubt I ever understand. They certainly came home that way, knowing they were in trouble. Last month I began a taper on the pain meds, to take a "holiday" for a few weeks to let my tolerance lower. This will allow me to use the same amount of drug as I have been using. The other choice would be to go through a higher dose, but eventually I'd have to do this, so the current level seems a good place to start. But, it's rough. Though not going "cold turkey", I still get the sweats and chills and upset stomach. And then, of course, there's the headaches without any real way to stop them. Sure makes me appreciate when the meds do work! On top of all this, I've got muscle aches, mostly in my lower back and hips. I have a few meds to help with the taper, but still I spend a lot of time hiding in the bedroom, which thermal curtains that block most of the light from outside. It isn't perfect darkness, but it's enough that closing my eyes, or using an eyebag, blocks out the tiny bits of light still getting through. When I can, I try to spend as much time with Ethan as I can. He doesn't understand my need to lie down, and gets frustrated when I can't do things with him. So, I try to get in at least some time everyday with him. Today I was slightly early for a doctor's appointment, so I meditated in the chair in the waiting room. I invoked the relaxation response, and it felt good, even if it was only a few minutes. When the doc came to get me, she commented, "Getting in a little doze?" "No, I was meditating." "Oh, that's a good thing to do. How often to you do that?" "Anytime I find myself waiting, whatever it is (except while driving) I take the time to meditate." This particular doctor teaches a seminar in mindfulness stress reduction, so she knows what I mean. I've been reading Barak Obama's book Dreams of my Father, which was written before he was a U.S. senator. For the first time in a long time, I believe I will be casting my vote for him (as opposed to casting a vote against someone). He has a unique set of skills, and experience with a wide range of people, that I think he will make an excellent president. It's too bad that Republican followers are running smear campaigns. Negative selling is such a turn-off. If your campaign is based on showing the other guy's/gal's so-called shadowy background, it makes me wonder what you plan to offer in return. I don't like to think about politics late at night, it keeps me awake, so I think I'll stop. Music in my head: Call Me, Blondie posted by Robert @ 12:55 AM | | OK, so half of the month is gone, but I've finally changed the calendar, to find the following: Birth and death don't affect you; You needn't seek wonders, posted by Robert @ 10:44 AM | | I've been a long time away from the blog, partly because my main computer's main disk drive is running in a semi-comatose state (meaning I have about three minutes to save something after starting it up before it starts making clanging sounds and freezes up - and of those three minutes, about one and a half of those is spent booting up in safe mode). But a nice new system (with Vista, sadly...as a long-time Miscrosoft hater, I have to admit that XP worked pretty well; perhaps I'll finally get Vista to look/work enough like XP that I'll be content). The new system is made by Gateway (because I'm tired on talking to the Dell India Division of Customer Support - don't get me wrong, I have a high respect for much of India as a country and a culture, but the people Dell hired were nowhere near as talented as the folks that used to work in Austin). The system is a quad-core system with a screaming AMD Phenom, with a 64-bit architecture (which makes drivers for peripherals kinda hard to get) and a handful of other niceties that, together, are astounding, considering the price I paid for it. As for getting an Apple, I actually have an Apple iMac sitting in a box in my hallway, but the desk for it is covered with the type of clutter that can't be just tossed in the trash or stashed in the basement (i.e. it belongs to Karen). I'd be lying, though, if I was to blame the lack of blogging on system problems (well, computer system problems). For the most part, (1) I haven't had anything to say worthy of writing, and (2) I haven't had the energy, physically or spiritually, to sit down and compose entries. A long talk with Mike has sort of lit a fire (well, maybe a small flame) to write, and I kinda feel like writing again. (BTW Mike, thanks for being such a good listener - I feel like I hogged most of the phone time). In my defense, I have been adding entries to my other blog, Theme and Variations, as I go through my classical music collection in order, and write my very amateur comments. But I find myself with a muse hanging over my right shoulder, with whiskey on her breath and very hung-over (and I haven't a clue what that is all about). posted by Robert @ 9:53 PM | | ...they lose. posted by Robert @ 2:54 PM | | The implant was, well, implanted (at least, the probes were) on Thursday. It seems to be working quite well, if you disregard the time the leads slipped out (probably my fault). This was easily fixed. More later, I'm just so tired at the moment. Mostly I lay listening to music, or lectures, and enjoy being without pain, even if I do have a bit of a buzz in the back of my head. posted by Robert @ 5:18 PM | | The Dalai Lama and the Olympics, as requested in the comments. posted by Robert @ 5:11 PM | | Having been enraptured with computers from a very early age (well, teen years, anyway) it was only a matter of time before I joined with one, to be part machine, part human. Having tried all sorts of scientific and not-so-scientific methods to deal with daily migraines, my next attempt will involve the installation of a neural stimulator on the occipital nerve at the back of my head. Since this is the nerve which passes pain signals from most of the areas where I get pain, the logic is if we can interrupt that signal (by providing a blocking signal of some sort), the signal won't get to my brain and thus I won't feel the headache. To see if this will be effective, I'll have the implant temporarily installed for about two weeks, with the unit itself external, with the wires going into the back of my head. If this proves to be beneficial, then we'll (I'll explain "we" in a moment) consider a permanent (sort-of) install, with the unit embedded either in my shoulder or my butt. I say "we" because this is a decision to be made by me along with a pair of specialists at Dartmouth, and of course with Karen (and Ethan, by proxy). Back in November we tried an experiment to see if a trial would even be worthwhile. On two separate occasions I had occipital nerve blocks, and both times they stopped the headache (though I got a wicked rebound). The nerve block involved injecting the nerve area with some "something-caine", which in itself meant driving a needle through various layers of cartilage and muscle until we got to the target area. It was weird; in my ears it sounded like someone crunching a potato chip back inside my neck. It didn't hurt for long, of course, as the local did its job well. I'm trying really, really hard to remain objective about the procedure, and not get carried away with plans and hopes and what-ifs. Since this is surgery, after all, it would be easy to be super optimistic that this, finally, will be an answer I can live with. It isn't that I'm pessimistic; I'm just cautiously optimistic. I've been through too many sure-fire procedures to put all my hope eggs into yet another medical basket. On a recent trip to Tennessee, I bought a cap with a cover for the back of the head and neck so people don't need to get freaked out by wires coming out of my head. But I'll probably take pictures, as a few folks have requested them, and if they aren't too gross I'll post them. The implant does NOT run Windows, which is good; the Blue Screen of Death would have a whole new meaning should my implant crash. Anyway, stay tuned. |